Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
You're like the curious george of whores
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
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