She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Randomize