WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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