You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
