I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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