sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
