can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
