this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
