Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
