jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
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