i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
