similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
