So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
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