YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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