I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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