Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
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