She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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