you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
