You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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