I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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