He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
i came on her dog
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
