when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Also, beer. Big fan.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
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