On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Dick very happy bro
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
