Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
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