Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
