I want to walk on stilts...naked
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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