random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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