if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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