the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Randomize