sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
