I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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