Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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