I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
