I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Did I show you my penis last night?
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
