nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
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