Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
