dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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