this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
