Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Randomize
