LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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