watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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