arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
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