Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I need a burrito and a hug.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
