Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
