Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
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