Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
where are my eyebrows?
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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