I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
PANTIES FOUND
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