You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
