Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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