i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize