well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Come on in and take your pants off
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