4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
