I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Randomize
