I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Randomize
