im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
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