I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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