I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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