Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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