Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
We need to get me chipped asap
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
