shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
