fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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