Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize