I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Randomize
