The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
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